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Sick Parents

Hi. I'm new to this community. My dad has non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.…

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Sick Parents

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Hi. I'm new to this community. My dad has non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

We found out four years ago, and the discovery was definitely a landmark in my life. He went through chemotherapy over the summer and the doctors told him afterward that all that was left of his tumor was scar tissue.

Then, last summer, we found out the tumor in his abdomen was back and there was also a visible tumor on his neck. He went back for chemo. This time he stayed home from work all summer. He got pneumonia. Hearing him breathe while he slept was so painful. By the end of the summer, though, they stopped with the treatment. They gave him a type of "maintenance" chemotherapy, though, and a drug to boost his immune system. His white blood cell count had been low.

His white blood cell count continued to be low through March. In December I had thought he was mad at me because he sounded so tired when I called him. He didn't sound happy to talk to me at all. I had no idea what was going on, and I felt so selfish later. In February he had had to go to the hospital because of a sinus infection that would cause a blood infection.

Fortunately, though, his white blood cell count was normal again sometime in April. But he wasn't. He's been sick to some degree all year. At the very least tired and needing naps regularly. He's the one who wants to leave first at family events, and he doesn't have the energy to pester me all the time. Even though I dislike him picking on me, I miss it.

Now he has to get chemo again. He started last Thursday after an operation Tuesday to put stints in his kidneys. This time he'll lose his hair and eyelashes. I'm so sad. It feels like both of my parents have lost their energy. My mom thinks my dad might be getting depressed. My mom herself is clearly in need of support, but doesn't really have anyone to turn to. I want to help them, but it's so hard to help when you're their child. They want to be helping you, not vice versa.

I struggle with a lack of support myself. My boyfriend is so supportive, but when I tell my friends, they don't know what to do. When I posted about it, hardly anyone responded, so I removed the post. My dad isn't going to die anytime soon (presumably) but he's sick. Constantly sick.

I think it's also difficult because my dad's pretty young (46) and was in really good shape before all of this. He's tall and muscular and sort of my epitome of strength. (I'd never tell him that or he'd get a big head. :P ) To see him getting wiped out by this all the time is still mind boggling to me.

Anyways, I'm glad to have found this place. I've been reading through old posts and crying and trying to process things. God bless all of you.
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